Honest

If I️ am being honest I have wrote an awful lot of poetry. But my life isn't always as rhythmic and flowing as I would like. All of the chapters don't always fit together poetically.

I used to be a chameleon blending into every environment I was placed in, I now have grown into being a plant. Growing where I choose to plant myself, growing how I want.

I had convinced myself that different equaled broken. We are all different, whether we wear that as a part of our identity or not, is a choice. I am different and complicated and detailed.

I used to search for rest, I looked everywhere else, but You. I ran into the darkness with the light right on the heels of my feet. I felt so through, but you were not through with me. I was so used to masking the pain that I hid from healing hands. But I am so done running. You have chased me so far. Pursuing me in so many valleys. You have found me, I have found You. I want to be wholly in surrender.

I have learned to bleed words instead of pain. I put the pain into an art, so I can use it. Write it, remember it, but overcome it.

My mind works quickly. I hear one interesting thing and I put it in every scenario my brain can possibly think of.

I look for the art in everything. Something you may find ugly. I may look at it and see some odd form of beauty. I love art and the world of intricacy that it comes with. Everyone has their own form of art. Find your art.

Emotional warfare will change how you see the world, the pain won't last. It ends. You will grow from it, I promise.

I slow down when I walk past plants because I hope they will teach me proper growth.

I capture pictures because I may not see that beautiful moment, I want to capture the moment I saw it and the beauty found there.

I have a fondness for the woods and nature, it's easiest for me to hear Gods whisper there. It sounds a lot like the wind making the trees dance.

I am learning to like myself, I am learning to look in the mirror and not completely look away but maybe recognize myself. It takes time. Loving myself will take time but I will get there. I am loved. You are loved. By the best artist of all.

- grow + love,

A.S.