As I Am

As I come

with trembling hands,

shaky knees,

& a heavy chest.

Tired feet a consequence of running,

clenched fists from trying to fight the fight,

alone.

I'm so tired,

tired of trying to do this by myself.

I'm so not alone,

and it is as if I want to be.

This flesh has failed me so many times,

yet I still rely on it

instead of your hands.

I am done walking in my own self pity and tripping over my doubts.

I have come with

a heavy heart,

dark parts of me

brokenesss

imperfect flawed self.

Yet you want me the same

You pursue me the same

You seek me out just as deep

and love me stronger.

I am drowning in your grace

I am overwhelmed by this overwhelming presence of relentless forgiveness.

The dichotomy between my faults and You. What a vast and unexplainable mercy.

So as I am I come, with every flaw.

You want me to come as I am so I will leave my old self in the past and that will become as I was.

- a.s.

love + grow