Beloved

 And this is the marvel of marvels, that He called me Beloved. - C.S Lewis

Lord, I have listened to so many voices, I have stumbled upon the opinion of others, I have tripped up myself worrying about what someone thinks of me when they see me. I have muffled Your voice singing over me, calling me Beloved, calling me masterpiece. I have looked at my reflection in the mirror and ignored your handiwork, I have beaten myself up to the point of damp eyes. But Lord you have been patient, you have whispered sweet words of love and grace upon my heart. I read the quote above in my favorite childhood book and it completely wrecked me. These kind words have come up again & again in my life from childhood to adulthood reassuring me sweetly. Lord when I think of the way you love me, it marvels me that You would called me beloved, it honestly brings me to my knees and wrecks me entirely. The thought of You still loving me through my impatient thoughts and hateful ones toward myself, it astonishes me. You love me through and through. I have had a issue with my self image, but You have repeated to me that I was made in your image and I am at peace. Thank You for being so patient, thank You for giving me time to grow, for slowly watering me, for walking with me through the dark valley. I have grown, and it’s gonna take some more time, but every time I doubt my worth you whisper again and again that I am beloved, and I sit there and I am still in marvel of You.
— lots of love, A.J.S